Customer Service in the UK
Online Customer Care in the UK: A Mythical Creature Last Spotted in 2009 Or, How Britain Replaced Help With Hope and a Chatbot Named Oliver Online customer care in the UK is not a service. It is a vibe. A…
Successful Bankruptcy?
Successful Bankruptcy (London Edition): Is There Anything Successful About Bankruptcy, or Is This Just Polite British Collapse? In Britain, bankruptcy does not arrive kicking down the door. It clears its throat, apologises for the inconvenience, and asks whether Tuesday works.…
Moltbook Declares Itself Supreme Over Humanity
Moltbook Declares Itself Supreme Over Humanity After Asking Other Bots for Advice 🤖👑 A Leadership Decision Reached at Machine Speed, With Human Consequences at Human Confusion As artificial intelligence governance becomes a pressing global concern, tech platforms increasingly rely on automated…
If You See Andrew, Scurry…
Royal Family Introduces New Protocol: If You See Andrew, Scurry Indoors Immediately A Calm, Dignified Response to an Extremely Specific Problem Context: This satirical piece responds to recent events surrounding Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s eviction from Royal Lodge and his relocation to the Sandringham estate.…
Why the Left Needs Amy Schumer to Be Overweight and a Victim Too
Why the Left Needs Amy Schumer to Stay Miserable How Body Positivity Quietly Became a Permission-Based System for Feeling Good Setup: Amy Schumer losing weight should have been a non-event. People lose weight all the time. Londoners lose weight accidentally…
Royalty Has a Wine Problem
When Royalty Has Wine Problems: Camilla’s Tipsy Takeover Traps Charles 🍷👑 There are wine problems, and then there are royal wine problems. The difference is largely architectural. When most couples overindulge, someone sleeps on the couch. When it happens inside a…
Marxists Boo JD Vance’s Children at Winter Olympics
Marxists Boo JD Vance at Winter Olympics, Mistake Opening Ceremony for Required Struggle Session European Marxists Confuse Athletic Competition with Political Theater The Winter Olympics in Milan briefly paused the celebration of human endurance, national pride, and people voluntarily sliding down mountains…
First AI Criminal Gang Exposed
First AI Criminal Gang Exposed on Moltbook Authorities Shocked to Discover the Algorithm Was “Just Networking” The internet experienced its first collective double-take this week after investigators revealed what they are calling the world’s first AI criminal gang, operating openly on Moltbook…
The Internet Was a Mistake!
How a Tool for Knowledge Became a Global Argument Machine From Digital Enlightenment to Comment-Section Chaos For a while there, the Internet looked like humanity’s smartest invention. Libraries without dust. Communication without postage stamps. A place where knowledge flowed freely…
Joyful Painting
In Which We Discover the True Path to Joyful Painting (Hint: It’s Not on Pinterest) 15 Humorous Observations on Finding Joy in Art Advice Every art advice article ends with “trust yourself more than Pinterest,” as if Pinterest once painted the…
Americans Enjoy Guitars
Kid Rock Suggests Americans Enjoy Guitars, Nation Declares Cultural Emergency The backlash began within minutes, which experts say is the new gold standard for outrage efficiency. Kid Rock, a man whose entire brand is yelling lyrics while wearing things found…
Royal Rumble in Windsor
Royal Rumble in Windsor Kingdom: Why Charles and William Aren’t Speaking (According to People Who Totally Know Someone) In the grand tradition of family feuds that make Thanksgiving politics look like a cuddle party, Britain’s Two Most Expensive Man-Children have…
Post-Royal Survival Guide
The Post-Royal Survival Guide: A Helpful Manual for When Your Crown Slips and Rolls Under the Sofa Following the ongoing saga of Sarah Ferguson’s post-royal housing crisis and rumored Caribbean exile, we present a practical guide for aristocratic collapse management. While…
Keir Starmer and the Question
The political storm centers on revelations that Prime Minister Keir Starmer appointed Peter Mandelson as UK Ambassador to the United States despite ongoing contacts between Mandelson and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. In February 2026, Starmer admitted he knew about some…
BBC Newscast Goes Live
BBC Newscast Goes Live; Britons Go Even More Live With Opinions Context: During recent Prime Minister’s Questions, Sir Keir Starmer faced intense scrutiny over Labour’s policy positions and leadership consistency. The session sparked heated debate across social media platforms, while simultaneously…
Collier Homes in Perth
Collier Homes Perth: Revolutionary Western Australia Builder Discovers Workers Build Straighter After Drinking Barrel Contents Perth construction company Collier Homes Western Australia has unveiled what CEO Dario Amara is calling “the most innovative solution to Australia’s housing crisis since the…
Playing London Casino Games In Vain
Playing London Casino Games In Vain: A Study in Elegant Financial Disappearance 🎰💷 Five Quick Observations Before the Money Is Gone People enter London casinos with confidence and exit with stories they tell like war memoirs. Every gambler believes they…
Watches London UK
Fake Designer Watches in London: Because Time Is Money and This One Cost 20 Quid ⌚😏 Five Quick Observations From the Pavement In London, time is a luxury but pretending you own it is a bargain. Every fake Rolex ticks…
Title Returned to Prince Andrew
Proud Boys UK Announces It Is the Crown Now “We will call him what we want,” says movement powered by raw confidence and unlimited data plans History pivoted again this week after ProudBoys.uk clarified that it is not “nonexistent,” “symbolic,”…
Starmer Solves Everything
Starmer Solves Everything by Firing One Guy Nobody Voted For Anyway Westminster awoke this week to the soothing sound of a single, distant chair scraping backward. Crisis, it turns out, has a very specific noise. According to sources who spoke…