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New Orleans “Bad Moms” To Invade London, Britain Activates Emergency Cultural Protocols
UK Uses Visa Restrictions to Pressure African Countries, Shocked This Counts as Pressure
Alexandra Palace Darts Fans Achieve New State of Consciousness, Scientists Baffled by “Fancy Dress Enlightenment”
Texas High Schoolers to Invade London, Britain Braces for Impact of American Marching Band Enthusiasm
PIA Flight to London Described as ‘Rejuvenating Wings of Longing’
London’s Shoplifting Hotspots Revealed, Surprising Absolutely Nobody
Tuesday December 30, 2025
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London’s Shoplifting Hotspots Revealed, Surprising Absolutely Nobody
Featured News

London’s Shoplifting Hotspots Revealed, Surprising Absolutely Nobody

Emily Cartwright December 27, 2025

Expensive areas contain expensive items worth stealing, study finds Research Discovers Thieves Target Shops With Valuable Goods A groundbreaking study has revealed that London's highest shoplifting rates occur in areas with the most shops, a finding that required extensive research and apparently no common sense whatsoever. The report identifies Oxford Street, Bond Street, and other retail districts as prime theft locations, shocking researchers who somehow expected criminals to target areas without shops. Thieves Demonstrate Surprising Understanding of Economics The study revealed that shoplifters preferentially target luxury retailers in wealthy areas rather than charity shops in residential neighbourhoods, suggesting criminals possess basic reasoning abilities that apparently eluded the research team. "We were stunned to discover thieves prefer stealing £500 handbags over…

101 Reasons Google Readers Misunderstand Satirical Journalism
Featured

101 Reasons Google Readers Misunderstand Satirical Journalism

Harriet Collins December 20, 2025

101 Reasons Google Readers Should Stop Having a Moan About Satirical Journalism What Is Satirical Journalism? A Guide for Confused Google Readers Satirical journalism uses humour, irony, and exaggeration to critique politics, society, and culture. Britain has a rich tradition of satirical publications that hold power to account through comedy. Private Eye, Britain's fortnightly satirical magazine since 1961, exposes corruption and hypocrisy with investigative satire. The Daily Mash produces daily satirical news stories lampooning current events. NewsThump offers sharp political satire with absurdist headlines. The Poke combines satirical articles with social commentary. These sites aren't "fake news"—they're legitimate satirical outlets using comedy to reveal truth. When The Daily Mash writes "Britain Unsure Which Entirely Predictable Crisis to Panic About First," they're satirising British anxiety culture, not reporting false information.…

NEWS

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PIA Flight to London Described as ‘Rejuvenating Wings of Longing’
News

PIA Flight to London Described as ‘Rejuvenating Wings of Longing’

Harriet Collins December 27, 2025

Pakistani airline's marketing department absolutely losing it Carrier Announces Service Using Unexplained Poetry Pakistan International Airlines has unveiled its Islamabad-to-London…

London’s Shoplifting Hotspots Revealed, Surprising Absolutely Nobody
Featured News

London’s Shoplifting Hotspots Revealed, Surprising Absolutely Nobody

Emily Cartwright December 27, 2025

Expensive areas contain expensive items worth stealing, study finds Research Discovers Thieves Target Shops With Valuable Goods A groundbreaking study…

IN BAD TASTE

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New Orleans “Bad Moms” To Invade London, Britain Activates Emergency Cultural Protocols

New Orleans “Bad Moms” To Invade London, Britain Activates Emergency Cultural Protocols

Hip-hop dancing krewe brings American enthusiasm levels to city unprepared for synchronized maternal energy Britain Braces for Tactical Mom Deployment…

UK Uses Visa Restrictions to Pressure African Countries, Shocked This Counts as Pressure

UK Uses Visa Restrictions to Pressure African Countries, Shocked This Counts as Pressure

Foreign Office discovers economic leverage works both ways Britain Weaponizes Access to Drizzle and Overpriced Housing The UK government has…

Alexandra Palace Darts Fans Achieve New State of Consciousness, Scientists Baffled by “Fancy Dress Enlightenment”

Alexandra Palace Darts Fans Achieve New State of Consciousness, Scientists Baffled by “Fancy Dress Enlightenment”

World Championship attendees transcend normal human experience through combination of beer, costumes, and mathematical precision Researchers Document Phenomenon of "Competitive…

London Commuter Towns Experience House Price Reality Check
Economic

London Commuter Towns Experience House Price Reality Check

Carys EvansDecember 21, 2025

London Commuter Towns Experience House Price Reality Check | Properties finally priced according to actual desirability

Eurostar Urges Travelers to Postpone Trips It Already Cancelled
News

Eurostar Urges Travelers to Postpone Trips It Already Cancelled

Morag SinclairDecember 21, 2025

Eurostar Urges Travelers to Postpone Trips It Already Cancelled | Railway company advises against using non-existent services

101 Reasons Google Readers Misunderstand Satirical Journalism
Featured

101 Reasons Google Readers Misunderstand Satirical Journalism

Harriet CollinsDecember 20, 2025

101 Reasons Google Readers Should Stop Having a Moan About Satirical Journalism What Is Satirical Journalism? A Guide for Confused Google Readers Satirical journalism uses humour, irony, and exaggeration to critique politics, society, and culture. Britain has a rich tradition…

Eurostar Introduces “Schrödinger’s Journey” Service
News

Eurostar Introduces “Schrödinger’s Journey” Service

Emily CartwrightDecember 19, 2025

Eurostar Introduces “Schrödinger’s Journey” Service: Passengers Simultaneously Arriving and Not Arriving Channel Tunnel power failure creates quantum state of travel where holidaymakers exist in multiple states of disappointment Eurostar has unveiled its most innovative service yet: a revolutionary travel experience…

UK Equities Drift Higher After Realising Nobody’s Watching
Economic

UK Equities Drift Higher After Realising Nobody’s Watching

Carys EvansDecember 19, 2025

UK Equities Drift Higher After Realising Nobody’s Watching | Stock market celebrates year-end with ‘performance for empty room’

Eurostar Suspends All Services to Encourage ‘British Holiday Staycations’
News

Eurostar Suspends All Services to Encourage ‘British Holiday Staycations’

Bethan MorganDecember 19, 2025

Eurostar Suspends All Services to Encourage ‘British Holiday Staycations’ | Train operator insists timing ‘completely coincidental’ with New Year

Pinpoint UK Secures Lloyd’s Approval, Celebrating Being Allowed to Exist
Economic

Pinpoint UK Secures Lloyd’s Approval, Celebrating Being Allowed to Exist

Siobhan O’DonnellDecember 18, 2025

Pinpoint UK Secures Lloyd’s Approval, Celebrating Being Allowed to Exist | Coverholder status described as ‘permission to do insurance’

UK Dissertation Service Wins Award Nobody Knew Existed
Social

UK Dissertation Service Wins Award Nobody Knew Existed

Isla CampbellDecember 18, 2025

UK Dissertation Service Wins Award Nobody Knew Existed | ‘London Reviews’ organisation also previously unknown, sources confirm

Gulf Buyers Snap Up London Luxury Properties at ‘Bargain’ Prices
Economic

Gulf Buyers Snap Up London Luxury Properties at ‘Bargain’ Prices

Siobhan O’DonnellDecember 17, 2025

Gulf Buyers Snap Up London Luxury Properties at ‘Bargain’ Prices | Homes now merely extortionately expensive instead of impossibly so

Clinical Pharmacy Congress London Promises Exciting Discussions About Pills
Social

Clinical Pharmacy Congress London Promises Exciting Discussions About Pills

AlanDecember 17, 2025

Clinical Pharmacy Congress London Promises Exciting Discussions About Pills | Delegates prepare for riveting debates on tablet shapes

UK Entertainment Scandals Reach Annual Quota in Record Time
Social

UK Entertainment Scandals Reach Annual Quota in Record Time

Harriet CollinsDecember 17, 2025

UK Entertainment Scandals Reach Annual Quota in Record Time | Industry celebrates ‘achieving full year’s shame by December’

Jerusalem Report Publishes Report From Jerusalem, Groundbreaking Achievement
News

Jerusalem Report Publishes Report From Jerusalem, Groundbreaking Achievement

Lowri GriffithsDecember 17, 2025

Jerusalem Report Publishes Report From Jerusalem, Groundbreaking Achievement | Publication successfully covers city mentioned in title

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  • It’s Easter now, insist supermarkets
  • Today either Tuesday, Friday or Sunday, estimates delirious nation
  • ‘Is that it then?’ ask nation’s spoiled children
  • Santa prepares public statement following accusations that ‘he clearly prefers rich kids’
  • Woman left with no time to respond after absolute psychopath of a friend hand delivers card on Christmas Eve
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  • Too posh to push? Fewer men than ever passing kidney stones naturally
  • We ask you: what are you unsuccessfully giving up this New Year?
  • Do you look like a cheap whore? A guide for paranoid women going to New Year’s parties
  • Man watching Hootenanny alone starts wanking to see if it’s possible to sink lower
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  • ‘Growing up what was the first big ‘not allowed’ thing that you did anyway?’ – 22 rebellious rule breakers born to be mild
  • Donald Trump totally bought Putin’s claim that Ukraine targeted his residence with drones and we’ve never seen him this sympathetic
  • Donald Trump berated Joe Biden and his backing for the Federal Reserve chief ‘fool’ and it’s up there with his very best self-owns
  • This Andrew Tate-o-like’s comically awful Tinder patter got all the responses it deserved – 14 crushing smackdowns
  • A Brit said how much better Europeans have it than Americans and the Maga fury it prompted took it to a whole new level

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