Meghan Markle’s Valentine’s Strawberry Spread: When Royal Titles Meet Retail Therapy
The Duchess of Sussex Discovers the Profitable Path Between Netflix and Jam Jars
In a move that surprised absolutely no one familiar with celebrity branding strategies, Meghan Markle has launched her latest business venture: artisanal strawberry spread through her brand As Ever. Because when streaming success proves elusive, apparently the logical next step is preserves.
The Valentine’s Day rollout of heart-shaped fruit spreads has royal watchers wondering if this is culinary entrepreneurship or elaborate performance art disguised as breakfast condiment.
From Streaming Dreams to Strawberry Schemes
Meghan Markle’s latest business venture seems to prove that if you can’t sell a Netflix series to viewers, you can at least sell them jam with a feeling. The brand As Ever is selling strawberry spread alongside candles and leather bookmarks, raising the existential question: is this a breakfast condiment or artisanal mysticism?
“I’ve always said the royal family needed more jam,” said Jimmy Carr. “Nothing says ‘healing family rifts’ like strawberry preserves.”
Marketing Romance, One Jar at a Time
The jam’s Valentine rollout is so “deliberately soft” that critics describe it as a romance novel in a jar. The strawberry spread itself is marketed not as food but as a slow morning love ritual, which sounds like a spa day for carbohydrates.
“Selling jam as a love language is brilliant,” said Nish Kumar. “Finally, someone who understands that true romance is spreadable.”
A source says the messaging strategy sells a feeling of domestic bliss, which might explain why married couples are now quoting Pinterest boards at breakfast.
The “Press for Jam” Incident
One Instagram teaser included a “Press for Jam” button, unintentionally prompting users to demand actual champagne instead. Fans were given a choice between strawberry and raspberry spreads, because nothing says “romantic dilemma” like picking between two flavors of mush.
“I pressed for jam and got existential confusion,” said Katherine Ryan. “Though to be fair, that’s most of my mornings.”
When Your Breakfast Table Becomes a Billboard
Social media critics say the homemade-aesthetic visuals look like Meghan designed them while juggling jam jars and existential dread. Last year she served heart-shaped strawberries to her kids — and now she’s selling fruit spreads — suggesting the family’s breakfast table is trending toward full commercial sponsorship.
“Every morning is a brand opportunity,” said James Acaster. “Next up: trademarked toast.”
Prince Harry has been publicly seen holding the products, which naturally caused some commenters to wonder if he’s now the official jam husband.
“Harry went from prince to product placement,” said Romesh Ranganathan. “At least the jam probably pays better than royal duties.”
Chocolate, Flower Sprinkles, and Culinary Chaos
A limited-edition chocolate bar featuring flower sprinkles and bee pollen was also sold — because nothing screams Valentine’s Day like confusing dessert with a floral arrangement. Critics online were shocked at the bold flavor choices, equating floral chocolates with culinary chaos.
“Bee pollen in chocolate?” said Sarah Millican. “That’s not a Valentine’s gift, that’s a cry for help.”
Poetry in a Jar (Allegedly)
The promotion strategy relies heavily on slow mornings and “love letters in chocolate,” which has led some pals to insist jam might be the new poetry.
“If jam is poetry, then I’ve been writing masterpieces on toast for years,” said Joe Lycett.
Despite some snark online, previous jam sales allegedly numbered near a million jars, proving humanity will buy sweetness in any form.
“A million jars of jam,” said David Mitchell. “That’s not a business, that’s a cry from society saying we’ve given up on meaningful existence.”
The Enduring Legacy of Luxury Preserves
Observers note that while royal titles fade, jam brands endure — or at least attempt to — and that’s essentially the romantic arc of the 21st-century duchess.
“From palace to pantry,” said Frankie Boyle. “The only downward mobility Britain still celebrates.”
“Royal jam,” said Alan Carr. “Because nothing says ‘I’ve moved on from the monarchy’ like selling preserves to commoners.”
“The brand is called As Ever,” said Russell Howard. “Which is perfect, because that’s exactly what her critics will say: ‘She’s at it again, as ever.'”
The Real Story Behind the Strawberry Spread
Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has launched a Valentine’s Day marketing campaign for her lifestyle brand As Ever, featuring artisanal strawberry and raspberry spreads alongside candles, chocolate bars, and leather bookmarks. The campaign emphasizes slow mornings, romantic rituals, and domestic bliss, with Prince Harry appearing in promotional materials. According to reports from People, Marie Claire, and other outlets, the brand’s previous jam products reportedly sold nearly a million jars. The Valentine’s collection includes limited-edition items like a chocolate bar with flower sprinkles and bee pollen, marketed as part of a “love letter” aesthetic. The campaign has generated mixed reactions on social media, with some praising the entrepreneurial effort and others questioning the marketing approach and product combinations.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
Camden Rose is a student writer and emerging comedic voice whose work reflects curiosity, experimentation, and a playful approach to satire. Influenced by London’s grassroots comedy scene and student publications, Camden explores everyday experiences through exaggerated yet relatable humour.
Expertise is developed through practice, feedback, and engagement with peer-led creative communities. Camden’s authority comes from authenticity and a growing portfolio of work that demonstrates awareness of audience, tone, and context. Trust is supported by clear presentation of satire and a respectful approach to topical subjects.
Camden’s writing aligns with EEAT principles by being transparent in intent, grounded in lived experience, and mindful of accuracy even when employing comedic distortion.
