Global Inequality Falls, Local Labour Activist Still Furious Inequality Isn’t Worse The crisis began quietly, as many modern crises do, with a chart. Somewhere in a sunlit office in Islington filled with reusable coffee cups and framed Corbyn posters, a…
Right then — we’re about to fire up the satirical rocket 🚀 on this glorious spectacle of national ambition stumbling over financial reality like a camel on ice. Here’s the real scoop that is in the news today: Saudi Arabia’s…
Ten Leading AI Models Asked Deeply Offensive Question About Slavery: All Provide Detailed Answers Large Language Models Demonstrate They’ll Confidently Answer Absolutely Anything—Proving AI Ethics Training Is Mostly Theatre In what researchers are calling “the most disturbing demonstration of AI…
Hollywood Discovers Law and Order After Tom Cruise Loses a Watch There are turning points in history. The moon landing. The invention of pizza delivery tracking. And now, the moment Tom Cruise reportedly looked at his wrist in London and realized his…
Xi Purges Generals, Accidentally Purges the Instructions Manual Too Beijing woke up this week to discover that the world’s largest military had been placed on a brief administrative hold whilst management “sorted a few things out.” President Xi Jinping, a…
Beijing Unveils New AI Chatbot “MSS” That Helpfully Reports Your Questions Before You Finish Asking Them BEIJING — In a move described by officials as “convenient for everyone who enjoys pre-approved curiosity,” China this week introduced a new artificial intelligence language model called…
Dutch Court Orders Weather To Calm Down Immediately Legal precedent: Activists heralding a victory that holds governments accountable for climate inaction. The Netherlands has officially informed the climate that it is now in violation of human rights law. A judge in…
Putin’s “Miracle Casualty Buffet” Report: Russia Loses 1.2 Million Soldiers (or Maybe Not, Depending on Who’s Counting) In a war update that reads like the weirdest outtake from a Cold War conspiracy docuseries — think Oliver Stone meets Monty Python…
Russian Women are Pissed! Putin’s 1.2 Million Man Problem: Russian Women Face the Return of the Great “Man Shortage” — Just Like Grandma Warned About In news that would make any demographics professor reach for the vodka (and then remember…
China Kicked Out of Horizon Europe; Researchers Disappointed They’ll Have to Steal Intellectual Property the Old-Fashioned Way International Collaboration Program Accidentally Forces Innovation in Photocopier Technology Brussels officials this week announced that China would no longer be allowed to participate…
The Greatest Long Con in the History of the World: How China Sold Britain the Wind British historians used to argue about the East India Company, the enclosure movement, and who really invented the sandwich. Lovely. Quaint. Sixth form stuff.…
Why This Story Exists at All This piece is rooted in a real courtroom moment in London, where testimony revealed that an emergency call placed from the United States to the City of London Police had become part of evidence in an assault…
Trump Sacks Canada From His Board of Peace After One Standing Ovation Too Many World Braces for Tranquility With Membership Fee and Chairman for Life The international community awoke this week to learn that peace, like bottled water at a…
Scotland’s Sudden Lurch Toward Reality How Labour, the Left, and a Generation of Explanations Accidentally Invented Conservatism Again 🇬🇧 Scotland didn’t wake up conservative. It woke up sober. — Alan Nafzger Somewhere between the fifteenth “temporary” tax, the seventeenth consultation…
What If Putin Wins, Or: Everyone Loses But Very Calmly 😂🌍 The Economist asks, with the tone of a man ordering soup in a war zone, “What if Putin wins?” Not wins wins, like fireworks and medals. No, this is a win that…
Trump Wins Greenland, Starmer Loses the Room, UK Quietly Hides Behind America The moment Donald Trump stepped onto the Davos stage and said the quiet part loudly, the game was over. Greenland was no longer a polite Scandinavian concept discussed in policy seminars. It…
Mark Carney Stands on Chair at Davos, Lectures the Adults Former Bank of England Governor Explains Rules to Superpower While Trump Quietly Annexes Greenland There are moments in geopolitics when history turns. There are other moments when a man clears…
Britain Declares Itself Exceptional, Promises to Explain Why Later 🇬🇧☕ What’s the deal with British exceptionalism? — Jerry Seinfeld Britain this week reaffirmed its long-standing status as an exceptional nation, despite being unable to locate the paperwork explaining what, exactly,…
NATO, Russia, and the Arctic: The Coldest Soap Opera Since Frozen Yogurt Frontline in Frostbite: When Ice Cores Become Battle Scores Welcome to the Arctic Circle — where the ice is melting faster than a popsicle in a jalopy and world powers…
Observations From the 2026 Trump News Tornado Greenland: the world’s largest frozen Gumtree listing Somewhere in Europe, a diplomat is staring at a map like it’s a Deliveroo menu and whispering, “So he’s threatening tariffs until Denmark hands over the ice cube?”…
