Britain Discovers the Slippery Slope, Immediately Sets Up a Queue at the Bottom of It Tax Breaks for Pubs & the EVERYONE ELSE AS WELL Britain’s independent bookshops have asked for the same tax relief as pubs, and within twelve minutes of that request…
Protesters Discover the Ultimate Anti-Censorship Technology Cringe, Paper, and Metaphor Tehran is learning an ancient lesson: you can shut down the internet, but you cannot shut down a person who has just discovered the emotional power of a pen. With…
The Greenland Gambit: America’s Newest Defence Strategy (Featuring Dog Sleds and Diplomacy) Satirical Arctic Security Brief Every great military strategy begins with a simple question: what if we put a base there? Greenland is the “there” currently keeping U.S. defence…
A Love Letter to Pub Culture, Written on a Beer Mat at Closing Time There are many places where society pretends to function: offices, schools, Parliament. And then there are pubs, where society actually admits what it is doing. A…
Who Should Control British Newspapers? Or: How Britain Accidentally Invented the World’s Most Polite Media Oligarchy There are countries where the press is controlled by the state. There are countries where the press is controlled by corporations. And then there…
Young Brits are buying Bibles like they’re limited-edition sneakers. Based on the latest reporting that Bible sales in the UK hit record highs in 2025, driven largely by younger adults seeking spirituality, here are some playful and cheeky observations, followed…
Morning News Brief Confirms World Still on Fire, Tea Also Failing to Cope Bohiney.com understands that the morning news brief exists not to inform, but to confirm a suspicion you already had while staring into the kettle: nothing has improved…
London Once Tried to Fix Society by Taking Away Beer and Adding Buildings Victorian London looked at widespread poverty, social collapse, and gin-fuelled chaos and decided the obvious solution was sobriety, lectures, and better signage. This was not a modest…
Starmer Announces New ‘Optimism Inflation’ – Prices Up, Spirits Up, Confusion Everywhere | As Brits panic over inflation hitting multi-month highs, the government insists this counts as morale growth.
BBC Spends Six Hours Explaining Why Trump’s Caracas Strike Proves He’s Literally Hitler When Breaking News Breaks the Narrative The BBC’s live blog opened with the sort of breathless urgency typically reserved for Royal funerals or England losing on penalties: “Explosions have…
Nobel Committee Explains Peace Prize Cannot Be Regifted Like Unwanted Toaster The Nobel Institute was forced to issue a clarification this week that would not have been necessary in a sane world: the Nobel Peace Prize cannot be transferred, reassigned, donated, or…
UK Foreign Office Discovers Mugabe Plot Was Real, But Not Really Here’s our take on the news that the UK briefly considered doing to Robert Mugabe what it already did to Saddam (but then chickened out like a nervous party guest who…
Europe Declares Itself Seriously Concerned After Trump Signals He Needs Greenland “Very, Very Badly” 🍵 Prelude: A Geopolitical Charcuterie Board Before we dive into today’s geopolitical charcuterie board of intrigue, philosophy, and overcaffeinated politicians, a quick disclaimer: this piece was entirely co-created…
Britain and the EU Begin Careful Dance Towards Each Other Whilst Pretending Not to Hear the Music 🎻🇬🇧🇪🇺 Britain and the European Union are once again standing awkwardly across the room, clutching warm drinks, insisting they are absolutely fine on…
Trump Demands British Supermarkets Sell Chlorinated Chicken – Chaos Ensues | US president insists this is a matter of national taste.
London Tube Announces New Map, Commuters Still Pretend They Understand It Because If You Can’t Read It, Just Look Confused and Nod Transport for London unveiled its latest Tube map redesign this week, promising “clarity, accessibility, and visual appeal.” Commuters, however, responded…
WORLD CUP STARTED EARLY: Entire 2026 Tournament Quietly Played Last Night While You Slept England knocked out on penalties, America declared moral winners, Canada very polite about it In a scheduling mix-up blamed on time zones, streaming rights, and “a…
Far-Right Rally in London Mistaken for Awful Carnival Where No One Got Candy Tens of Thousands March for National Pride, Leave With Mild Sunburn and No Clear Demands London hosted yet another mass demonstration this week, this time featuring flags,…
EU demonstrates radical new tactic of not panicking; Britain takes notes, loses notes, blames notes Britain Discovers the Channel Is Still There, Migrants Take Notes In a development that shocked absolutely no one except the people paid to be shocked, migrant…
London’s Fireworks So Big They Registered as an Earthquake, Tourists Say It’s the Most English Thing Ever New Year Celebrations Confirm Britain Prefers Explosions to Emotional Honesty London welcomed the New Year in its traditional manner by detonating several million…
