Westminster Announces Bold New Plan to Review the Last Review Ministers Confirm Lessons Will Be Re-Learned, This Time With Greater Seriousness In a decisive show of momentum, officials in Westminster announced a bold new plan to review the findings of…
Royal Family Launches Diplomatic Initiative After Norfolk Farm Declares Olfactory War 🌿👑💨 There are many things one expects from a countryside retreat. Birds. Breeze. The soft, pastoral hush of nature doing its gentle thing. What nobody had on their royal…
How Liberty Won the Internet: A Chronicle of the Digital “Left Defeat” Narrative The Triumph Begins: Introduction to the “Left’s Loss” In the great digital gladiatorial arena that is the 21st-century internet, a new epic has unfurled. According to The Guardian’s…
Mark Twain’s Immortal Wisdom Meets Modern British Left-Wing Politics Here we go — a gleeful, snark-seasoned satirical riff on Mark Twain’s immortal wisdom: “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”…
Britain Announces We’re Learning in Real Time, Nation Wonders What Time Was Used Previously | Government embraces live experimentation while public questions past methodology
Transport for London Introduces PhD Programme in Narrow Pavement Navigation | New qualification required after pedestrian gridlock reaches “existential crisis” levels
Britain Assures Voters Everything Is Under Control, Refuses To Specify What “Everything” Is Officials Confirm Confidence Is High, Details Are Optional In a carefully choreographed statement delivered from a podium that cost more than several libraries, Britain’s leadership assured voters…
Oxford Station | Politely Delivers Genius, Tourists, and Mild Disorientation
Meghan Markle Unveils Revolutionary Parenting Strategy: Shielding Children From Criticism by Literally Using Them as Shields In what experts are calling the most literal interpretation of “family first” in modern media history, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, is reportedly planning to bring…
How We Manufacture Evidence: A Comprehensive Guide for Modern British Journalism The Insider’s Handbook to Creating Reality As trust in mainstream media continues to plummet, with Reuters Institute research showing declining confidence in news organisations across the UK, this guide satirises…
Starmer Says Britain Is “At a Turning Point,” Public Notes It Looks a Lot Like the Last One History Declared, Context Reused The Prime Minister this week announced that Britain is “at a turning point,” a phrase delivered with the…
Acton: West London’s Functional Overachiever With Too Many Options | A Measured Field Guide to Acton’s Abundance of Trains, Choices, and Mild Decision Fatigue
This piece draws from actual January 2025 royal family news, including King Charles hosting a film premiere at Windsor Castle for his documentary “Finding Harmony,” declining public support for the monarchy among younger Britons, renewed calls for slavery reparations, and…
Royal Blame Strategy Expands to Include Weather, Furniture, and Possibly Gravity The royal family has reached the historic phase of any national institution where absolutely everything is someone else’s fault. Historians confirm that in Britain, accountability is considered a foreign…
King Charles Offers Harry a Royal Couch and a Warm Hug—But William Says Bring Your Own Tea This satirical piece responds to ongoing speculation about potential reconciliation between King Charles III and his younger son Prince Harry, following years of public tension…
How U.K. Marxists Losing the Internet Is Actually Freedom Winning Let’s start with the heart of The Guardian’s claim: they argue that digital platforms destroyed traditional “liberal” messaging—though let’s be honest, we’re talking about Marxists and Bolsheviks who want total economic, social, and…
Nation Braces as Meghan Markle Releases Another Photo That Looks Like It Has a Publicist Hollywood, Montecito, and at least one confused wax museum employee are still recovering after Meghan Markle unveiled her latest “candid” image, reportedly inspired by Audrey Hepburn, soft lighting,…
The Populist King Trump and the Left’s Imaginary Monarchy: A View From the U.K. In a political moment that feels like Game of Thrones crashed into a sixth form politics lecture, the United States finds itself simultaneously mocking and pretending there might…
Amazon’s Plan to Buy Half of OpenAI Leads to Rumours They’ll Own the Other Half by Elevenses 🍵💼 Amazon Announces AI Bailout for ChatGPT After It Refuses to Shop on Amazon; “Alexa, Buy OpenAI!” Becomes New Catchphrase 🛒📊 Five Key…
Prime Minister Calls for Unity, Immediately Blames Someone Else Nation Briefly United in Confusion as Speech Completes Perfect Political Loop In a solemn address delivered with flags, lighting, and the facial expression reserved for moments of great seriousness, the Prime…
