Drama School Starmer: When Westminster Became a One-Man Theatre Festival There are moments in British politics when history taps you on the shoulder. There are other moments when it clears its throat, adjusts the spotlight, and announces that tonight’s performance…
Mark Twain’s Immortal Wisdom Meets Modern British Left-Wing Politics Here we go — a gleeful, snark-seasoned satirical riff on Mark Twain’s immortal wisdom: “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”…
Britain Declares Itself Exceptional, Promises to Explain Why Later 🇬🇧☕ What’s the deal with British exceptionalism? — Jerry Seinfeld Britain this week reaffirmed its long-standing status as an exceptional nation, despite being unable to locate the paperwork explaining what, exactly,…
Starmer Promises “Decisive Action Soon,” Westminster Sets Calendar to Vague Urgency Declared, Timeline Misplaced The Prime Minister this week promised that “decisive action” is coming soon, a phrase delivered with enough gravity to suggest movement, but not enough specificity to…
Starmer Tackles Greenland Tariff Crisis By Firmly Telling Trump He’s “Wrong” Diplomacy Peaks Briefly, Then Moves On In a decisive act of international leadership, the Prime Minister addressed the Greenland tariff crisis this week by firmly informing Donald Trump that…
Starmer Says Britain Is “At a Turning Point,” Public Notes It Looks a Lot Like the Last One History Declared, Context Reused The Prime Minister this week announced that Britain is “at a turning point,” a phrase delivered with the…
Starmer Says Government Is “Building Momentum,” Public Asks Where It’s Being Stored Energy Detected, Motion Still Theoretical The Prime Minister this week assured the nation that the government is “building momentum,” a phrase delivered with the calm assurance of someone…
Starmer Says Britain Is “Stabilising,” Nation Wonders If This Is the Final Form Calm Achieved, Ambition Quietly Lowered The Prime Minister this week reassured the country that Britain is “stabilising,” a declaration delivered with the soothing tone of a pilot…
Starmer Says Britain Is “On the Right Path,” Nation Asks If There’s a Map, Signs, or a Bench Direction Confirmed, Orientation Optional The Prime Minister this week assured the country that Britain is “on the right path,” a statement delivered…
Starmer’s War With Elon Musk Continues, Proving World Leaders Just Need Drama While roads quietly deteriorate, hospitals improvise, and policy papers age gracefully into irrelevance, the Prime Minister has once again found himself locked in a highly visible dispute with…
Government “Laser-Focused” on Cost of Living Except When Busy Focused on Everything Else The government has once again reassured the public that it is “laser-focused” on the cost of living, a phrase delivered with such consistency that it now functions…
Starmer Urges Patience, Says “These Things Take Time,” Nation Checks Watch, Calendar, Then History Books Time Requested, Deadline Undefined The Prime Minister this week urged the public to be patient, reminding them that “these things take time,” a statement delivered…
Government “Laser-Focused” on Cost of Living Except When Busy Focused on Everything Else The government has once again reassured the public that it is “laser-focused” on the cost of living, a phrase delivered with such consistency that it now functions…
Starmer’s Long-Form Podcast Strategy: More Words, Still No Answers Long-form podcasts were supposed to be the antidote to modern politics. In theory, they offer depth, nuance, and the rare luxury of time. In practice, they have become the political equivalent…
Starmer Insists Government Is “Making Progress,” Nation Requests Visual Evidence Progress Confirmed, Detectability Optional The Prime Minister this week reassured the country that the government is “making progress,” a statement delivered with the calm certainty of someone who has reviewed…
PM Now Less Popular Than Liz Truss – Reaching Historical Levels of “Why Bother” Pollsters confirmed this week that the Prime Minister’s popularity has slipped below that of Liz Truss, a comparison that until recently was considered largely theoretical, like…
Starmer Says Government Is “Laying the Groundwork,” Public Asks When the Building Starts Foundations Announced, Construction Pending The Prime Minister this week assured the nation that the government is “laying the groundwork” for meaningful change, a phrase delivered with the…
Cost of Living Crisis: Starmer’s Solution Is Rail Fare Freeze You’ll Never Notice The government this week unveiled its latest response to the cost of living crisis: a rail fare freeze so subtle it has already been mistaken for a…
Labour MPs Weigh Leadership Change, But Running Against Starmer Sounds Like Work Inside Labour headquarters this week, a familiar and deeply comforting mood settled over the building: something must be done, ideally by someone else. The conversation about leadership change…
Starmer Says Britain Is “Turning a Corner,” Nation Asks Which One and Why It Feels Familiar Direction Announced, Location Unclear The Prime Minister this week assured the country that Britain is “turning a corner,” a phrase delivered with the quiet…
