In Which We Discover the True Path to Joyful Painting (Hint: It’s Not on Pinterest)
15 Humorous Observations on Finding Joy in Art Advice
- Every art advice article ends with “trust yourself more than Pinterest,” as if Pinterest once painted the Mona Lisa in a past life.
- The phrase “find joy” appears more often than “buy supplies,” which is shocking since most artists equate joy with emptying credit cards at the art store.
- By the end of any painting advice blog, you’re told to “express yourself,” which 73% of readers interpret as “paint your feelings… in neon.”
- Reddit artists agree: “Draw what you see, not what you think you see,” but then spend 12 hours drawing eyeballs that look like onions. 👁️ Reddit
- “Stop comparing yourself” is the #1 slogan in creative circles — right next to “don’t look at other artists” which, ironically, requires looking at their work to avoid comparison.
- Pinterest boards have more mood lighting than most art studios, proving mood lighting is essential to joy (science not cited, but we feel it).
- The instruction to “ignore judgement” is always followed by a comment section full of judgements.
- Art bloggers hate talking about “materials,” until they start selling their online courses.
- Everyone agrees that joy comes from within… but joy definitely doesn’t come from your first 37 failed paintings.
- Art Instagram comments are 90% emojis and 10% existential despair.
- The cousin of “find joy” is “embrace the mess,” which in practice often means stepping on a rogue paint tube at 6 AM.
- Modern art often screams: “I meant to do this,” which statistically correlates with not having a clue what you’re doing.
- People who make art for joy secretly want art to be profitable — like a succulent that also pays rent.
- The term “play” is used so much artists now play Charades about art techniques at parties.
- Everyone insists that art shouldn’t be stressful, yet calls to discuss it often start with the words “Anybody else cry when their watercolor bled?” 😭
The Joyful Painting Paradox: When Caring Means Not Caring
According to legions of art blogs, you must stop caring in order to care deeply about your work. This advice is so profound it inspired a workshop titled “Stop Caring to Care” — where participants sat in silence and didn’t paint anything for joy, because caring would have stressed them out. It was blissful.
Every art advice article you’ve ever read tries to convince you that joy is an internal thing that can’t be measured unless you measure it by expensive brushes you didn’t need in the first place. At least one artist’s lounge Reddit thread insists that drawing what you actually see is the secret to joy, even though many still struggle to draw a circle that resembles a circle. 👁️ Reddit
The Science of Just Paint: A Statistical Nightmare
Mythical Research from the Institute of Creative Humour
Let’s consult the social science of painters (a.k.a. “people who drink coffee while critiquing art on forums”). A poll from the mythical Institute of Creative Humour (100% unscientific) found:
- “90% of artists say they want to find joy in painting.”
- “100% of painters say they enjoy buying art supplies more than using them.”
This data was gathered by watching people browse art stores online, which is basically the modern equivalent of field research.
Eye Witness Evidence from the First-Time Painters Convention
At the annual First-Time Painters Convention, one self-described “joy seeker” said:
“I thought joy was in the brush strokes. Turns out it was in the free cheese puffs at the welcome table.”
Another attendee declared:
“I gave up comparison, and my art finally improved — mostly because I stopped looking at everyone else’s walls on Instagram.” 😆
Expert Opinions on Art and Joy: What the Professionals Pretend to Know
Dr. Art Intents, a leading professor of Creative Psychology, states:
“Joy in painting is not a destination, it’s a condition you enter when you stop trying to impress other people with your color palette.”
Meanwhile, Claude Monet’s ghost is rumored to have whispered:
“Just add more water. More water fixes everything.”
Both experts agree that joy is approximately 37% freedom, 42% snacks, and 21% existential questioning.
Deductive Reasoning: Why Art Cannot Be Joyless
- If art were only about joy, then nobody would discuss color theory.
- If nobody discussed color theory, then every painting would just be neon blobs.
- Yet neon blobs sell surprisingly well on Etsy.
- Therefore, joy and commerce are secretly best friends.
- Thus we deduce that artists paint not just for personal joy, but to confuse art historians in the distant future.
Social Commentary from the Easel: The Collective Emotional Palette
Modern art culture is a paradox parade. People are told to find joy in the process of creation, yet the product of their efforts winds up on aggressive critiques on platforms like Reddit. One commenter summarized it perfectly:
“I just want joy and coffee, not existential dread from mixing burnt sienna with Regency anxiety.”
This encapsulates the collective emotional palette of contemporary creators.
A Practical Yet Satirical Guide to Finding Joy in Painting
Four Steps to Artistic Enlightenment (or Chaos)
If you want to actually discover joyful painting (according to everyone except your inner critic), follow these steps:
Step One: Buy paint. Just one color. Let it be neon.
Step Two: Ignore Pinterest. Unless Pinterest has neon paint, then look at it with skepticism and envy.
Step Three: Forget making “good art.” Make art that makes you laugh.
Step Four: If you find joy, write about it. If you don’t, write about not finding joy — it’s equally publishable.
Final Punchline: The Firefly Colander Theory of Art
In the end, joy in painting is like trying to catch fireflies with a colander: delightful in theory, impossibly messy in practice, and absolutely worth doing just for the stories you tell afterward.
Disclaimer: This satirical journalism piece was an entirely human collaboration between two brilliant sentient beings — the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer — and absolutely not the fault of any artificial intelligence 🐄🎨
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: editor@prat.uk
