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WORLD CUP STARTS EARLY…
FIFA 2026 World Cup
Rail Companies Apologise for Disruption
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Britain Reassures Itself Everything Is Fine
London’s New Year’s Day Parade 2026
Saturday January 3, 2026
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England Fans Plan Open-Top Bus Parade
Today

England Fans Plan Open-Top Bus Parade

Carys EvansJanuary 3, 2026January 3, 2026

England Fans Plan Open-Top Bus Parade After 1–0 Win Against Totally World-Class Minnows Nation rediscovers optimism it explicitly promised itself never to feel again England’s 2026 World Cup campaign entered its most perilous psychological phase last night after a narrow…

Trump’s Latest Strategy: Replace NATO With Group Texts and Good Vibes
Political Today

Trump’s Latest Strategy: Replace NATO With Group Texts and Good Vibes

Carys EvansJanuary 1, 2026January 2, 2026

Trump’s Latest Strategy: Replace NATO With Group Texts and Good Vibes | Alliance transitions from Article 5 to emoji-based mutual defense commitments

Telegraph Sale Proceeds Because Nobody Else Could Survive Writing Headlines All Day
News Today

Telegraph Sale Proceeds Because Nobody Else Could Survive Writing Headlines All Day

Charlotte WhitmoreJanuary 1, 2026January 2, 2026

Telegraph Sale Proceeds Because Nobody Else Could Survive Writing Headlines All Day | Newspaper industry recognizes endurance journalism as legitimate occupational hazard

Trump Misplaces Confidence, Files Missing Person Report
Social Today

Trump Misplaces Confidence, Files Missing Person Report

Emily CartwrightJanuary 1, 2026January 2, 2026

Trump Misplaces Confidence, Files Missing Person Report | White House aides search for presidential self-assurance last seen leaving a press conference

Europe Welcomes Trump as Supreme Overlord, Asks Him to Fix Their Wi-Fi
Political Today

Europe Welcomes Trump as Supreme Overlord, Asks Him to Fix Their Wi-Fi

Chelsea BloomJanuary 1, 2026January 2, 2026

Europe Welcomes Trump as Supreme Overlord, Asks Him to Fix Their Wi-Fi | Continental leaders prioritize bandwidth over governance in historic leadership transition

Students Traumatized by Democracy; Teacher Arrested for Providing Visual Aids
Social Today

Students Traumatized by Democracy; Teacher Arrested for Providing Visual Aids

Fiona MacLeodJanuary 1, 2026January 2, 2026

Students Traumatized by Democracy; Teacher Arrested for Providing Visual Aids | School district implements trigger warnings for exposure to unfiltered civic content

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RSS newsthump.com
  • Motivation to make 2026 ‘your year’ dead after reading just three work e-mails
  • Stranger Things’ Giant Spider Monster ‘actually quite small for Australia’
  • Chelsea FC begin search for brilliant football manager who has also never heard of Chelsea FC
  • ‘2026 still pretty shit’ warn Australians
  • ‘It just needs to be out of the house by New Year’ insists man eating Chocolate Orange for breakfast
RSS thedailymash.co.uk
  • Too posh to push? Fewer men than ever passing kidney stones naturally
  • We ask you: what are you unsuccessfully giving up this New Year?
  • World concerned Trump may be taking safe dose of aspirin
  • Your life-saving guide to travelling in snow
  • Five subtle signs your wife fancies you
RSS thepoke.com
  • Tom Hiddleston wasn’t buying into the ‘New Year’s Eve’ thing on Graham Norton and people loved him for it
  • This guy told women that men prefer them without make-up and these women’s A++ responses will leave you totally made-up
  • This photobombing man totally ruined these women’s perfect New Year moment and you don’t have to be a woman to appreciate these responses but it will definitely help
  • A flagship American news show has had enough of ‘academics and elites’ and these 17 shocked and stunned reactions surely said it best
  • The Traitors is back, with a Secret Traitor whose identity isn’t even known to the viewers – 26 hot takes

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