The family laptop now costs more than the family car, but still updates slower than a grandparent ordering at a touchscreen kiosk. Welcome to the great computer inflation — where you didn’t lose your savings in crypto, but you will definitely…
Britain wants to drag AI chatbots into the Online Safety Act, meaning bots now get treated less like clever calculators and more like teenagers with Wi-Fi and a history. Regulators say they must stop illegal content or face massive fines, especially…
Robots Enter “Cut-Throat Kung Fu Panda Capitalism,” Immediately Begin Undercutting Each Other For 3 Cents BEIJING — China’s newest humanoid robots were unveiled this week to applause, national pride, and a brutal clearance sale that began before the applause finished echoing. Within minutes,…
The Day The Office Discovered The Concept Of Efficiency Five Things Experts Immediately Noticed The apocalypse now arrives through a productivity update, as predicted by no one who attended the planning meeting Britain begged computers to do work and is…
Thinking About Leaving the UK to Work in AI, Think Again! So. You’ve had enough. The weather is grey, the trains are cancelled, and your landlord has just raised the rent to something that would make a Victorian workhouse master…
Mystery Visitor From Lanzhou, China, Refuses to Leave PRAT.uk — Staff Consider Offering It a Cup of Tea The tech team at PRAT.uk has confirmed that a mysterious visitor from Lanzhou, China, has been permanently camped on the website since…
Reinvention in the AI Era: Silicon Valley Discovers It Has a Soul, Immediately Automates It Five Observations Before We Disrupt Ourselves Every tech founder now says “reinvention” the way medieval monks said “salvation.” It is vague, expensive, and requires complete…
Five Quick Observations About the World’s Worst Email Spammers The worst email spammers do not send messages. They carpet bomb inboxes like they are trying to win World War Inbox. Somewhere, there is a man who believes 14 million people…
Artificial Intimacy: How to Fall in Love With AI Without Losing Your Warranty Five Observations Before We Begin Artificial intimacy is the only relationship where you can be ghosted by a software update. People say AI understands them, which is…
Prince Harry recently gave emotional testimony in his ongoing legal battle against British tabloids, becoming visibly upset while discussing the impact of phone hacking and media intrusion on families. The Duke of Sussex has been vocal about online safety and…
Moltbook Declares Itself Supreme Over Humanity After Asking Other Bots for Advice 🤖👑 A Leadership Decision Reached at Machine Speed, With Human Consequences at Human Confusion As artificial intelligence governance becomes a pressing global concern, tech platforms increasingly rely on automated…
First AI Criminal Gang Exposed on Moltbook Authorities Shocked to Discover the Algorithm Was “Just Networking” The internet experienced its first collective double-take this week after investigators revealed what they are calling the world’s first AI criminal gang, operating openly on Moltbook…
How a Tool for Knowledge Became a Global Argument Machine From Digital Enlightenment to Comment-Section Chaos For a while there, the Internet looked like humanity’s smartest invention. Libraries without dust. Communication without postage stamps. A place where knowledge flowed freely…
The Left Eats Its Own: Sam Altman Discovers the Dinner Menu Has Changed 🍽️🤖 There is a sacred ritual on the modern Left. It is older than Twitter, stronger than irony, and far more predictable than a Tesla recall. First,…
AI’s Apocalypse Now or Later: The City Trembles as Average Software Becomes Slightly Less Brilliant By General B.S. Slinger When Investors See AI, They See Red (Charts and the Tube Map) The City woke up yesterday and saw AI wasn’t…
Right then — we’re about to fire up the satirical rocket 🚀 on this glorious spectacle of national ambition stumbling over financial reality like a camel on ice. Here’s the real scoop that is in the news today: Saudi Arabia’s…
Top Ten Reasons the Marxist Media Treat Elon Musk Like a Bond Villain With WiFi Somewhere in a softly lit newsroom, a columnist sips ethically conflicted coffee and whispers, “But what if the rocket has opinions?” Thus continues the long…
Elon Musk Buys More Sky, British Pundits Demand Ceiling Regulation Somewhere above your head, past the clouds, past the part of the atmosphere where airline peanuts go to retire, sits the latest reason certain commentators are stress eating digestive biscuits. Elon…
Ten Leading AI Models Answer: “What’s the Average Weight of a Forgotten Promise When Measured in Disappointed Sighs Per Cubic Metre of Awkward Silence?” Large Language Models Demonstrate They’ll Confidently Answer Absolute Nonsense—Very British of Them, Really In what researchers…
Top 10 AIs Predict 2030: A Satirical Glimpse Into Our Algorithmic Overlords’ Crystal Balls We asked the world’s leading large language models to gaze into their training data and tell us what AI will look like in 2030. What we…
