BBC Reports AI May Become Conscious — Robots File ‘Cease and Desist’ Because They Already Are ⚖️🤖 According to a sober, carefully enunciated report by BBC News—delivered in the sort of tone usually reserved for explaining constitutional crises to American tourists—artificial…
Britain Contacts Elon: Please Stop Grok AI From Dressing Everyone Like It’s Halloween Gone Wrong Britain has reached that familiar point in technological progress where the government clears its throat politely, folds its hands, and asks a billionaire if he…
Ofcom: ‘Dear X, Grok Is Undressing Women and Children. This Is Not What We Meant by “Open Source”‘ The letter from Ofcom to X was reportedly “firm but polite,” which in British regulatory language translates to deeply alarmed while apologising for being…
Grok AI Mistakes Every Photo For A Bikini Contest Entry, Government Not Amused Grok AI has developed a reputation for confidence without competence, a trait normally reserved for reality television contestants and middle managers. According to users, the system appears to…
Elon Musk Receives Complaint: AI Has Been Too Helpful With Wardrobe Decisions When X owner Elon Musk received the formal complaint from British regulators, aides say his initial reaction was curiosity, followed by a long pause, followed by the words “That is…
EasyJet Heroically Rescues New Year by Existing | Airline receives credit for simply having functioning aircraft
Egyptian Activist’s Violent Social Media Posts Spark ‘What Took So Long’ Response | UK finally notices concerning content after extended holiday
UK Crypto Bros Discover Taxes Still Exist in Decentralized Future CARF Framework Ruins Everyone’s Fun Starting January 1st In devastating news for Britain’s burgeoning population of crypto millionaires who definitely pay all their taxes already, the Crypto-Asset Reporting Framework (CARF) begins operation…
Clinical Pharmacy Congress London Promises Exciting Discussions About Pills | Delegates prepare for riveting debates on tablet shapes
Britain Has “Lost the Internet” — A Real News Story Told Through Ridiculously British Lenses Britain has reportedly lost the internet — like queue discipline, the Empire, and any hope of a summer without rain — according to senior officials…
London Police Apprehend Gentleman Who Only Wanted to Visit Kensington Palace Gardens Twice Because His GPS Was Confused Royal Security Confirms Google Maps Now Classified as a National Threat Kensington Palace, a place historically associated with royalty, restraint, and politely…
Iran Is “Next” And Everyone’s Pretending They Haven’t Read The Script The international community has announced, with all the subtlety of a freight train in a library, that Iran is “next.” Not next in line for tea. Not next to…
Princes in the Tower Mystery Solved: They’re “Probably Under Something” | Royal Historical Society Narrows Down Location to “Definitely Inside Tower of London”
Europe Welcomes Trump as Supreme Overlord, Asks Him to Fix Their Wi-Fi | Continental leaders prioritize bandwidth over governance in historic leadership transition
