Government announces metaphorical progress whilst declining geographical precision
Downing Street confirmed today that Britain is “turning a corner,” a development officials described as encouraging, inevitable, and not something they were prepared to locate on a map.
The phrase was deployed repeatedly during a morning briefing, where journalists attempted to determine which corner the nation was approaching, whether it had been there before, and if it led anywhere with seating.
“This is a positive moment,” the spokesperson said. “Corners represent movement.”
Metaphorical or Logistical Corner?
Pressed on direction, aides clarified that the corner was metaphorical, though possibly logistical, and not to be confused with the other corners Britain has turned in recent years, some of which may have been the same corner approached from a slightly different angle.
Economists expressed concern that the country appears to be circling an urban roundabout while announcing each rotation as progress. Downing Street dismissed this as “overly literal.”
“You don’t govern with a compass,” one official said. “You govern with confidence.”
Internal documents reportedly describe the corner as “narratively advantageous,” particularly when paired with phrases such as “green shoots,” “momentum,” and “steadying the ship,” despite the ship having remained in dry dock for some time.
Cabinet Echoes Message
Members of the Cabinet echoed the message across broadcast studios, each offering slight variations. Some suggested the corner leads to recovery, others implied it opens onto opportunity, while one minister suggested it was “more of a bend, really.”
Asked whether the corner had been turned before, the spokesperson smiled tightly and said Britain is “very good at corners.”
Historians note that Britain has been turning corners since at least the post-war period, often emerging into corridors marked “temporary measures” that last decades.
Mixed Public Response
The public reaction was mixed. Some welcomed the idea of movement. Others asked whether the government might consider stopping briefly to ask for directions.
“We don’t need directions,” a senior aide insisted. “We know exactly where we’re going. We’re just not sharing that yet.”
Downing Street later clarified that turning the corner does not mean immediate improvement, but rather “the conditions for improvement are aligning,” pending reviews, consultations, and the discovery of what’s actually around the corner.
As the briefing ended, the spokesperson reiterated the message with confidence.
“We’re turning a corner,” they said. “And that’s the important thing.”
Whether Britain arrives anywhere remains under active review by Westminster officials and political observers alike.
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: editor@prat.uk
