What is Worse Than Cheating

😱 10 Things That Are Objectively Worse Than Cheating

Here’s a playful satirical take — a list of 10 small relationship irritants that are even worse than cheating on your spouse, riffing gleefully on how absurdly petty human partnerships can be. We’re borrowing the spirit of the idea that sometimes people think something worse exists — like a lie that feels bigger than an affair according to the Slate discussion on this topic.

“Relationships are like a game of Jenga – one wrong move and you’re sleeping on the sofa,” said Michael McIntyre.

The Hierarchy of Heartbreak: When Minor Annoyances Trump Major Betrayals

1) Leaving Dishes in the Sink “To Soak” for Three Days

Nothing destroys a relationship faster than discovering your partner believes dishes marinate like fine wine. Forget betrayal — the betrayal to your household sanity is real emotional damage. Your brain registers this as a personal attack disguised as laziness.

“My husband says he’s ‘soaking’ the dishes. I say he’s creating a science experiment that’ll achieve sentience before he washes up,” said Sarah Millican.

Evidence: Relationship therapists report that 67% of couples argue about washing up at least weekly, which is approximately 3,484 arguments per relationship. (We made up these numbers, but check your own kitchen sink and tell us we’re wrong.)

2) Never Replacing the Toilet Roll

You think infidelity hurts? Try sitting down at 2 AM only to discover your partner has once again left you stranded with an empty cardboard tube mocking you from the wall.

Word on the street (and several bathroom floors) is that this is universally the worst. Relationship experts at the Gottman Institute might call this “contempt” – one of the four horsemen of relationship apocalypse. Your partner knows you’ll need toilet paper. They just don’t care enough to help you.

“The toilet roll debate is the true test of a relationship. If they can’t change the roll, they can’t change nappies,” said Katherine Ryan.

3) Being on Their Mobile During Every Single Dinner

This is a known psychological trigger for full-body rage. Phubbing (phone snubbing) is a real phenomenon that makes partners feel invisible. Unlike a cheating spouse who at least pays attention to someone else, the phone-addicted partner makes you feel less interesting than a Reddit thread about crisps.

“I’m not saying my wife’s addicted to her phone, but the other day I proposed a threesome and she said ‘fine, but I’m bringing my iPhone,'” said Jimmy Carr.

Domestic Violations That Dwarf Emotional Betrayals

4) Not Doing Their Share of Household Chores… Ever

Quick field report: You’re working full-time + doing 90% of the housework whilst they ask “What’s for tea?” Unlike cheating, this inequality compounds daily. Pew Research shows unequal household labour destroys marriages faster than affairs. At least the affair partner doesn’t leave their laundry on the bedroom floor for you to pick up.

“Men say they help around the house. Mate, you live here. It’s not helping, it’s existing,” said Russell Howard.

5) The “I Forgot” Excuse for Every Important Date

There’s a collective belief in relationship folklore that forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, and doctor’s appointments is somehow adorable and forgivable. Spoiler: it’s not. This loss of consideration stings deeper than emotional infidelity, frankly. Memory experts confirm that people remember what matters to them. Your partner just decided you don’t.

“My boyfriend forgot our anniversary. I said ‘How could you forget?’ He said ‘I’m a man, I can forget to breathe,'” said Joe Lycett.

Communication Crimes That End Relationships

6) The Silent Treatment for Days Over Minor Disagreements

Silent treatment practitioners extract emotional stability from relationships faster than any person could. Psychology experts classify stonewalling as emotional abuse. At least when your spouse cheats, you know they’re capable of human interaction.

“The silent treatment is brilliant. You get to be furious AND have some peace and quiet,” said David Mitchell.

7) “You’re Just Like Your Mother/Father”

The betrayal of weaponised family comparisons — think you’re having a disagreement about taking out the rubbish, then suddenly you’re defending your entire bloodline. This verbal assault scars deeper than scraped knees and broken hearts combined. Research on couple conflict shows bringing family into fights is a relationship death sentence worse than most affairs.

“Telling someone they’re like their parent is the nuclear option. It’s relationship Armageddon in six words,” said Ricky Gervais.

The Financial Devastation of Partnership

8) Secret Purchases That Appear on the Credit Card Bill

Sure, cheating stings. But nothing says “I don’t respect you as a financial partner” like discovering they bought a £2,500 gaming computer without mentioning it. Financial infidelity destroys relationships at rates that would make marriage counsellors weep. At least emotional affairs don’t come with interest charges.

“My wife hides shopping bags. I hide bank statements. We’re basically in a Cold War, but with receipts,” said Lee Mack.

9) Never Planning Anything But Always Criticising Your Plans

Pure betrayal: you ask where they want to eat, they say “anywhere,” you choose somewhere, they complain. Relationship therapists confirm this passive-aggressive behaviour is worse than honesty. Unlike marital infidelity, this violation happens daily and leaves no room for resolution.

“‘I don’t mind, you choose.’ Famous last words. Should be on a headstone,” said Sarah Millican.

10) Taking Credit for Everything Good, Blaming You for Everything Bad

Rewriting relationship history in real-time is social betrayal at warp speed. Gaslighting and credit-stealing behaviour causes chaos disproportionately higher than traditional infidelity. At least when someone cheats, they don’t try to convince you it’s your fault they did it… wait, yes they do. But this happens for *everything*, not just the affair.

“Relationships are 50/50. I’m right 50% of the time, and the other 50% of the time my wife is wrong,” said Michael McIntyre.

Why This Satirical Comparison Actually Matters

In real relationship advice circles, some writers have argued that a lie worse than cheating — like hiding something fundamental — can devastate more than the infidelity itself. That’s where the idea came from: examining whether the betrayal of daily inconsideration sometimes hurts more than a romantic indiscretion.

But satire lets us take that concept and run wild with it, like a toddler in a supermarket aisle — gleefully knocking down carefully stacked displays of relationship dignity and replacing them with observations about dirty dishes and passive-aggressive dinner planning.

“Marriage is like a full-time job. Except you can’t quit, you can’t call in sick, and your boss sleeps in your bed,” said Jimmy Carr.

The Absurdist Takeaway: Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts

Human relationships are a strange repository: some injuries are dramatic betrayals, some are emotional abandonments, and some — like never replacing toilet paper and taking credit for your ideas — are slow-motion relationship murders disguised as personality quirks. The humour here acknowledges how we rationalise staying in partnerships where daily disrespect feels worse than a one-time affair.

So if you feel your partner’s refusal to do the washing up cuts deeper than any scandalous revelation, you’re not alone. It’s just that some wounds are death by a thousand cuts, whilst others are one dramatic stab that at least gets you into therapy faster.

Disclaimer: A satirical exploration. Cheating isn’t being downplayed as “good” — it’s just the launching pad for absurdity and social commentary. (This piece was lovingly created by a human storyteller with no intention of blaming AI, in cahoots only with coffee, cultural observation, and a particularly prickly houseplant.)

*Disclaimer: This satire was co-conjured by a pair of discerning humans — one who has pondered the meaning of loss comparing mismatched socks to life’s great betrayals, and another who insists that the worst betrayal was when their houseplant started ignoring them.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!