Theatre introduces £200 “Detached Bemusement” tickets for audiences who need to feel superior
New Premium Seating Category Launched for Sophisticated Cynics
The West End has unveiled its latest innovation in theatrical capitalism: premium “Ironic Distance” seating for patrons who need everyone to know they’re only watching The Play That Goes Wrong because a colleague got them tickets, not because they actually find slapstick amusing.
£200 Tickets Come With Complementary Eye-Rolling Rights
The new seating section, positioned conspicuously in the dress circle, comes equipped with special lighting that illuminates audience members checking their phones during pratfalls. “We recognised a gap in the market,” explained Victoria Pemberton-Smythe of the Society of West End Theatres. “There’s a significant demographic who desperately want to see people falling through doors but need plausible deniability.”
Complimentary Programme Insert Explains Why You’re Better Than This
Each ticket includes a glossy insert titled “Understanding Lowbrow: A Guide for the Culturally Superior” which provides pre-approved talking points for post-show drinks. Popular phrases include “Of course, Brecht did it first” and “I suppose it’s harmless escapism for the masses.”
Early adopters report satisfaction with the experience. “I laughed exactly three times, all ironically,” confirmed James Hartley, 34, who works in finance. “I made sure everyone around me knew I was laughing at the audience laughing, not at the actual jokes.” When pressed, Hartley admitted he’d already booked return tickets, but “purely to study the phenomenon of collective delusion.”
The theatre has already announced plans for expansion, including a “Hate-Watching Hamilton” package and “Too Intelligent for Matilda” premium experiences.
SOURCE: https://www.bohiney.com/?play-goes-wrong-ironic-seating
Morag Sinclair is a seasoned comedic writer with a strong portfolio of satirical work. Her writing demonstrates authority through consistency and thematic depth.
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