Report Potholes Using App

Report Potholes Using App

Prat UK Images 20260118 213002 Satire

Councils Encourage Residents to Report Potholes Using App That Forwards Complaint Directly Into the Void

New digital infrastructure gives residents sensation of action without inconvenience of actual road repairs

Local councils have unveiled a new pothole-reporting app designed to give residents the sensation of action without the inconvenience of results.

The app allows users to photograph a pothole, tag its location, estimate its depth, describe the emotional damage caused, and then submit the report directly into nothingness.

“We’re empowering residents,” said a council spokesperson. “They can now watch their complaint disappear digitally instead of verbally.”

Users receive an automated reply thanking them for their patience, followed by complete silence. According to the Local Government Association at https://www.local.gov.uk, pothole maintenance represents one of local authorities’ most significant budget challenges.

Split image: shiny app interface on left, crumbling road surface on right.
The digital-physical disconnect: when reporting technology outpaces repair capacity.

One resident reported the same pothole six times as it expanded from “minor road defect” into “geographical feature.”

“It’s got ducks,” she said. “I think it’s breeding.”

The app also allows users to track the status of their report, which typically remains stuck on “Received” until the phone is replaced or the road collapses. According to the Institute of Highway Engineers at https://www.theihe.org, maintenance standards have deteriorated significantly across UK infrastructure.

Councils confirmed repairs will occur once the pothole either becomes self-aware or consumes a local official. According to the Department for Transport’s road condition statistics at https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/department-for-transport, the backlog of repairs continues expanding annually.

In the meantime, residents are encouraged to keep reporting, as hope itself counts as infrastructure. The Asphalt Industry Alliance at https://www.asphaltuk.org estimates the national pothole repair backlog at over £12 billion.

Road Safety GB at https://www.roadsafetygb.org.uk reports that poor road conditions contribute to thousands of accidents annually. The Transport Committee at UK Parliament at https://committees.parliament.uk/work/553/transport-connectivity-and-infrastructure/news/ continues investigating infrastructure funding gaps.

Engineering research bodies at the Institution of Civil Engineers at https://www.ice.org.uk document the systemic underfunding that has created Britain’s road maintenance crisis. Meanwhile, the RAC Foundation at https://www.racfoundation.org tracks how pothole complaints have overwhelmed local council systems designed for entirely different volumes.

The tragedy is not that the app exists. The tragedy is that hope—that residents can report problems—has become the only service councils can reliably provide.

SOURCE: http://prat.UK

IMAGE GALLERY

Satirical smartphone screenshot showing a pothole reporting app with endless loading animation.
Fig. 1: Digital bureaucracy meets physical decay: the pothole reporting app that leads nowhere.
Conceptual image of a massive pothole swallowing a car, labeled 'geographical feature.'
When road defects evolve into ecosystems: the expanding scale of Britain’s pothole problem.
Infographic showing £12 billion pothole repair backlog versus shrinking council budgets.
The math of decay: systemic underfunding meets the impossible scale of infrastructure maintenance.
Cartoon of a council worker drowning in paper reports while a giant pothole grows outside.
The paperwork paradox: more reporting, less repairing in local government systems.
Chart showing correlation between pothole complaints and vehicle damage claims over time.
From nuisance to hazard: how deteriorating roads impact safety and insurance costs.
Satirical engineering diagram labeling pothole layers: asphalt, despair, void, ducks.
The anatomy of institutional decay: documenting what happens when maintenance is deferred indefinitely.
Flowchart showing pothole report path: citizen → app → void → automated 'thank you' email.
The feedback loop of futility: how citizen engagement becomes performative bureaucracy.
Political cartoon showing ministers ignoring potholes while announcing shiny new transport projects.
The priorities paradox: grand infrastructure announcements versus basic maintenance neglect.

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