British Couple Try Daily ‘Bedroom Science Experiment’

British Couple Try Daily ‘Bedroom Science Experiment’ for a Year and Somehow Survive

In what relationship experts are fondly calling “the controlled study of affection where all variables are cuddling,” a husband and wife undertook a bold experiment: attempting to have sex every single day for a year to see what might happen. That’s right—365 numbered slots on their calendar, each one a tiny battlefield of logistics, parental duties, telly remote wars, and the merciless march of laundry. It’s the kind of ambitious research project that makes relationship psychologists simultaneously applaud and nervously adjust their spectacles.

Born From Birthday Present Logic (Because John Lewis Vouchers Are Too Boring)

Their journey began when Charla Muller decided that a spa day might be too predictable and a Dyson too practical. So for her husband Brad’s 40th birthday, she offered him the gift of an entire year of scheduled intimacy. He said “no” at first because, well, being told to have sex like it’s an NHS appointment somehow sounds less sexy. Brad reportedly worried it might “take the joy out of sex”—a fear that scientists absolutely support because scheduling pleasure can be oddly like scheduling your annual MOT. Except with more awkward calendar notifications and fewer mechanics’ overalls.

“It’s brilliant,” said comedian Sarah Millican. “Finally, something more structured than a queue at the Post Office.”

Rules of Engagement (Literally)

Like any high-stakes academic experiment—or reality TV programme nobody requested—they developed clear rules:

• They wouldn’t guilt each other.
• No pressure if the other wasn’t into it that day.
• Telly was banished from the bedroom.
• Children’s bedtime became sacred.

You know the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” Their version became “Happy Schedule, Happy Bedroom… when it’s convenient and nobody’s too knackered from assembling flat-pack furniture.”

“Scheduling romance?” quipped Jimmy Carr. “That’s very British. Next they’ll be forming an orderly queue for intimacy.”

Results That Practically Write Their Own Research Paper

By halfway through the year, their sexual encounters were less “All Night Long,” and more “Let’s See If We Remember What Time It Is.” They didn’t actually hit all 365, but they got busy quite a bit more than usual. And the outcome? Their marriage improved. Not because of a secret lovemaking formula discovered in ancient scrolls, but because they made space in their lives for each other. That aligns with scholars who find that higher levels of intimacy are linked with closeness and connection, even if the number of encounters varies—kind of like how gym membership works in theory versus practice.

By the end of the experiment, Charla admitted she was “giddy with the notion that I didn’t have to have sex.” Meanwhile, Brad discovered that scheduling intimacy is rather like scheduling a dentist appointment—necessary, beneficial, but sometimes you just want to have a kip instead. Or binge-watch that new series everyone’s banging on about.

“A year of daily sex?” said Alan Carr. “I can barely commit to a year of daily tooth-brushing, darling.”

What the Research Says (and Doesn’t Say)

Before everyone grabs a calendar and starts shading in 365 boxes with highlighters and motivational stickers, bear in mind this: scientific consensus does not mandate daily bedroom activity for relationship bliss. In fact:

• Studies find that weekly sex is associated with the highest reported satisfaction, whilst more frequent encounters don’t necessarily increase happiness.
• There’s no firm evidence that every day is better than once a week for most couples—unless you’re competing in the Relationship Olympics, which isn’t a thing yet.
• Daily sexual satisfaction and marital satisfaction do feed off each other in a bidirectional way—higher satisfaction today often predicts a happier relationship tomorrow.

In other words, love scientists still haven’t found the one true number of times that makes love perfect… but they keep trying, armed with spreadsheets and probably very understanding spouses.

“Science and sex,” observed Russell Howard. “Two things that work better when you’re not overthinking them.”

An Unexpected Benefit: Humanity Renewed (No App Required)

Charla and Brad didn’t just rediscover each other in the bedroom; they found themselves sharing time, laughs, chores, and connection. Their family reported fewer tense silences and more good-natured cooperation—proof that engagement in the relationship (not just the sex) matters. This echoes research showing that intimacy—romantic and otherwise—boosts overall life satisfaction and emotional health. It’s almost like paying attention to your partner works better than ignoring them whilst scrolling through social media. Revolutionary!

“Talking to your spouse?” said David Mitchell. “What a novel concept. Next you’ll suggest we actually listen to their answers.”

Real-World Witnesses Weigh In

One anonymous neighbour said, “I saw them leaving for a date night. They looked like they were on a mission from Cupid or something.” A therapist who asked not to be named shrugged and said, “Couples trying intentional intimacy? It can be a bond booster if those involved are willing participants.” Meanwhile, an internet commenter opined, “I can’t even commit to a gym routine for a year.” It was the sort of wisdom that flowering meme culture was built on—hashtag RelationshipGoals meets hashtag ActuallyRealistic.

“365 days of anything is commitment,” said Katherine Ryan. “I once tried to eat salad every day. Lasted until 3rd January.”

Public Opinion Poll (That Might Be Made Up)

In a totally completely real and scientifically rigorous poll of 1,002 married British adults who may or may not exist:

• 32% think daily intimacy is unrealistic
• 47% believe weekly is just right
• 15% say “What do you mean not every day?”
• 6% responded via interpretive dance

Poll methodologies vary but the sentiment was clear: enjoyment over obligation wins. Also, interpretive dance should be an option on more surveys.

“A poll about sex frequency?” quipped Frankie Boyle. “Finally, a survey more depressing than YouGov’s Brexit tracker.”

The Inevitable Conclusion (Because All Good Things Must End)

So was this year-long intimacy experiment a relationship superfood or a recipe for burnout? The answer is yes. It was both. The point wasn’t daily sex, it was shared intent. They redirected time, attention, and affection towards each other—and in doing so, created a pattern of mutual care that outlasted the calendar. And that’s the part worth talking about. Even if your “experiment” ends up involving more takeaway dinners and sofa cuddles than Olympic-level gymnastics, what matters is the reason you’re together.

Because at the end of the day—or year, in this case—quality connection beats quantity every time. Though having both doesn’t hurt, assuming you can stay awake past 9 PM.

“The secret to a happy marriage,” said Michael McIntyre. “Is apparently treating it like a part-time job with excellent benefits.”

Disclaimer

This story is purely a human creation, co-authored in spirit by a world’s oldest tenured professor of relational absurdities and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer who once tried to schedule milking time every minute on the minute. No AI is to blame for the wit and wisdom shared here.

Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!