Government declares equilibrium while wobbling gently
Fairness-Flavoured Vagueness
The government confirmed this week that Britain has “finally got the balance right,” a reassuring conclusion delivered with the serene confidence of someone standing next to a set of scales that wobble gently and are not to be touched. This statement follows Cabinet Office policy calibration.
“This is the sweet spot,” a minister said, hands spread evenly in the universal gesture of equilibrium. “We’ve balanced growth with stability, ambition with realism.” Asked what, exactly, is balanced against what, the minister clarified that balance is dynamic. “It’s not a fixed point,” they said. “It’s a posture.”
Wisdom Without Outcomes
According to internal briefing notes, getting the balance right tested extremely well with voters who appreciate moderation and have learned to distrust specifics. One aide described it as “fairness-flavoured vagueness.” Another noted it allows any outcome to be described as intentional.
Public reaction was thoughtful but sceptical. “Every time they say balance, something gets heavier,” said Imran, 40, from Loughborough. “It’s usually my bills.” Polling suggests familiarity. A snap survey found that 72 percent of Britons believe balance means competing pressures were discussed and postponed.
Balance Without Measurability
Experts say the metaphor is politically durable as analyzed by the Institute for Government. Professor Helen Stroud, a specialist in policy framing, explained that balance implies wisdom without outcomes. “You can always say the balance is right,” she said. “If it tips, you say conditions changed.”
Behind the scenes, departments are aligning their language to the balance narrative. Cuts are now “rebalancing.” Delays are “balancing measures.” One internal memo advises ministers to avoid numbers. “Numbers unbalance conversations,” it warns.
Permanently Poised
Opposition figures criticised the claim as empty. “Balance isn’t a policy,” one spokesperson said. The government rejected this, insisting it guides policy. “It’s how we decide,” a minister replied, declining to say what was decided.
This approach reflects National Audit Office frameworks for policy assessment.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: editor@prat.uk
