UK Calls Venezuela Transition ‘Fast’ After Redefining Time
UK Calls Venezuela Transition ‘Fast’ After Redefining Time | Officials introduce flexible chronology to better capture diplomatic progress
Tag: U.K.
Report Asks If Tony Blair Influenced Trial, Britain Replies: ‘Define Influenced’
Report Asks If Tony Blair Influenced Trial, Britain Replies: ‘Define Influenced’ | Semantics become final defence
Thousands Protest for Iranian Freedom as UK Practices Advanced Concern
Thousands Protest for Iranian Freedom as UK Practices Advanced Concern | Demonstrators call for decisive action whilst officials deploy refined expressions of worry
Man Returns to UK After Fatal Crash, Nation Awkwardly Clears Throat
Man Returns to UK After Fatal Crash, Nation Awkwardly Clears Throat | Authorities confirm situation is serious, complicated, and deeply uncomfortable
Britain and France Launch Precision Strike After Map Appears to Have Circle Drawn on It
Britain and France Launch Precision Strike After Map Appears to Have Circle Drawn on It | Defence sources praise clarity of marker pen
Britain Upgrades Artillery While Reassuring Everyone It’s Very Defensive
Britain Upgrades Artillery While Reassuring Everyone It’s Very Defensive | Officials explain new firepower is designed to feel safe, supportive, and non-threatening
Trump and Allies Target London, City Responds by Raising Rent
Trump and Allies Target London, City Responds by Raising Rent | Ideological assault met with property market adjustment
US Special Forces Pass Through UK, Assure Everyone It’s Just a Quick War Stop
US Special Forces Pass Through UK, Assure Everyone It’s Just a Quick War Stop | Officials insist troop movements are routine, casual, and absolutely not worth imagining
Allies Confirm Successful Airstrike on Something Near Syria That Definitely Needed It
Allies Confirm Successful Airstrike on Something Near Syria That Definitely Needed It | Operation hailed as necessary without clarifying why
UK Welcomes Back Driver From Fatal Incident, Pretends This Is Normal News
UK Welcomes Back Driver From Fatal Incident, Pretends This Is Normal News | Officials stress procedure whilst public struggles to locate correct reaction
UK Investigates Whether Tony Blair Quietly Hovered Over Justice System
UK Investigates Whether Tony Blair Quietly Hovered Over Justice System | Former leader’s presence described as “non-interfering proximity”
UK Buys Massive New Gun, Insists It’s for Peace
UK Buys Massive New Gun, Insists It’s for Peace | Defence officials stress artillery purchase is calming, stabilising, and purely reassuring
UK and France Drop Bombs on ISIS Bunker to Remind World They’re Still Relevant
UK and France Drop Bombs on ISIS Bunker to Remind World They’re Still Relevant | Officials insist strike was about security, not attention, despite timing
UK Told Stability Matters Most, Especially for Man Currently in Charge
UK Told Stability Matters Most, Especially for Man Currently in Charge | Nation reassured change will arrive eventually, just not today
Allies Bomb Syria Again, Call It ‘Targeted’ Because They Meant To
Allies Bomb Syria Again, Call It ‘Targeted’ Because They Meant To | Precision defined by intention rather than consequence
London Streets Fill With Protesters, Government Responds by Monitoring Vigorously
London Streets Fill With Protesters, Government Responds by Monitoring Vigorously | Officials confirm events are being watched with exceptional attentiveness
Iranian Diaspora Rallies in UK, Politicians Offer Thoughts, Prayers, and Distance
Iranian Diaspora Rallies in UK, Politicians Offer Thoughts, Prayers, and Distance | Demonstrators demand action as officials perfect the art of sympathetic separation
Mysterious American Troops Transit Britain, Officials Say ‘Don’t Overthink It’
Mysterious American Troops Transit Britain, Officials Say ‘Don’t Overthink It’ | Government reassures public that mystery is not a cause for curiosity
Prime Minister Rules Out Leadership Change After Consulting Himself
Prime Minister Rules Out Leadership Change After Consulting Himself | Internal review process described as “thorough and unanimous”