Mark Carney Stands on Chair at Davos, Lectures the Adults
Former Bank of England Governor Explains Rules to Superpower While Trump Quietly Annexes Greenland
There are moments in geopolitics when history turns. There are other moments when a man clears his throat, adjusts his notes, and accidentally reveals he thinks the world runs on gold stars and group projects.
This week at Davos, Mark Carney delivered what aides described as a “grave, thoughtful address” and what everyone else recognized as a very earnest child standing in front of the class explaining how sharing should work.
Carney spoke slowly. Carefully. The way a substitute teacher does when explaining scissors safety. He warned the world that the rules-based order was under strain, which is a charming thing to say when you are protected by someone else’s rules, someone else’s military, and someone else’s aircraft carriers doing laps outside the window.
The Davos Nursery Rhyme: When Lectures Replace Leverage
Carney’s speech had all the classic elements of a classroom monologue. A touch of history. A reference to ancient thinkers. A strong belief that if everyone just listens, the playground bully will stop being big.
He talked about sovereignty the way a child talks about bedtime fairness. “If Greenland doesn’t want to be taken,” the logic seemed to go, “then nobody should take it.” This is a beautiful idea. It is also the foreign policy equivalent of asking gravity to calm down.
Across the hall, Donald Trump was doing what adults do. Counting leverage. Measuring power. Winning Greenland before dessert. By the time Carney reached paragraph three, Trump had already turned Greenland into a fact instead of a discussion.
When Canada Discovers the Concept of Power
Carney warned against “economic coercion,” which is adorable coming from a country whose defense plan is essentially “stand next to America and hope for the best.” Canada does not deter. Canada reminds. Canada politely asks the universe to behave.
At no point did Carney explain what happens when the rules he loves are ignored. He simply assumed they wouldn’t be. This is the intellectual confidence of a child who has never been punched by reality.
Trump, meanwhile, does not believe in rules. He believes in outcomes. Greenland is now American in everything but stationery. Davos knew it. Markets knew it. NATO quietly updated its mental map. Carney was still explaining why maps matter.
The Lecture That Echoed Into the Void
There is something breathtaking about a middle power lecturing the only superpower while standing under its umbrella. It’s like correcting your parents’ driving while sitting in the back seat without a license.
Carney quoted history. Trump made it.
Carney urged cooperation. Trump secured territory.
Carney warned of fractures. Trump created facts.
This is not a debate of ideas. This is a mismatch of scale. One man is playing chess with live pieces. The other is explaining the rules to checkers.
A Gentle Reminder From Reality
No one at Davos booed Carney. That would have been rude. They nodded sympathetically, the way adults nod when a child explains a plan involving glitter and fairness. Then they turned back to the person who actually controls the room.
Greenland is not a seminar. It is ice, minerals, shipping lanes, and missiles. Trump understood that. Carney understood the footnotes.
Final Bell: When Sincerity Meets Superpower Politics
Mark Carney is not stupid. He is worse for Davos. He is sincere. Sincerity is wonderful in children and disastrous in power politics. The world is not governed by lectures, and superpowers are not corrected by tone.
Trump won Greenland because he acted like the adult who owns the house. Carney stood on a chair and asked everyone to please follow the rules.
This story is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings: the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer, both watching a child give a speech while the adults quietly move the furniture.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: editor@prat.uk
