FIFA Considers World Cup on Moon After USA–Canada Success, England Fans Already Worry About Rocket Fuel Costs
Tournament Logistics Praised as “Bold” by People Not Attempting to Attend Matches
Following early reviews of the 2026 World Cup’s sprawling North American format, FIFA officials have reportedly begun floating the idea that future tournaments could be hosted literally anywhere, including locations previously considered impractical, symbolic, or inhospitable to human life.
Sources close to the organisation said the success of staging matches thousands of miles apart across multiple time zones has vopened minds.” One senior figure allegedly remarked that “distance is just a mindset,” shortly before being driven to the airport by someone else.
England Fans Predict Moon as “Logical Next Step”
England fans, meanwhile, have reacted with weary realism. Having already crossed continents, borders, and personal financial limits to follow their team, many admitted the Moon felt like “the logical next step,” provided FIFA offered a shuttle bus and a vaguely timed kickoff.
“The only real difference,” said one supporter, vis the atmosphere, and we’re already struggling with that.”
FIFA defended the scale of the tournament, noting that expanded formats increase inclusivity, reach, and revenue. According to FIFA’s own development materials, global tournaments are now designed to maximise engagement across regions, platforms, and commercial partners. England fans translated this as vyou will travel, and you will pay.”
Fans Treat World Cup as Multi-Week Expedition
Logistics experts confirmed the challenge was unprecedented. With matches spread across vast distances, fans have been forced to treat the World Cup less like a sporting event and more like a multi-week expedition. Travel agencies reported bookings resembling gap years rather than football trips.
The Royal Geographical Society has previously warned that humans consistently underestimate distance when enthusiasm is involved, a principle England fans continue to test aggressively.
Climate Variation Adds to Tournament Absurdity
Climate variation added to the absurdity. Supporters reported attending one match in searing heat before boarding a flight and emerging into cool coastal air the next day. Packing lists now include sunscreen, coats, scarves, and emotional resilience.
Economists at the Institute for Fiscal Studies noted that the cost of following a team now rivals that of higher education. “Football fandom has shifted from working-class ritual to discretionary luxury,” one analyst observed. “You don’t follow your country anymore. You finance it.”
FIFA Jokes Have Habit of Becoming Policy
Despite this, FIFA officials insisted fans were enjoying the journey. Promotional footage showed smiling supporters in airports, buses, and queue systems. England fans pointed out that smiling for cameras is not evidence of happiness but compliance.
The idea of a lunar World Cup was initially floated as a joke, but England fans noted that FIFA jokes have a habit of becoming policy. “They laughed when we said Qatar was hot,” said one supporter. “Now we’re pricing up breathable kits.”
Libertarian critics argued the tournament’s expansion illustrated institutional excess. “When an organisation grows too powerful, it stops asking whether something should be done and starts asking whether it can be sold,” said one policy commentator.
FIFA declined to comment on lunar feasibility but confirmed it was valways exploring new frontiers.”
England fans sighed, checked their savings, and agreed on one thing: wherever the next World Cup is held, they will complain loudly, attend anyway, and insist it was better back home.
Gravity, they said, would not change that.
Alan Nafzger was born in Lubbock, Texas, the son Swiss immigrants. He grew up on a dairy in Windthorst, north central Texas. He earned degrees from Midwestern State University (B.A. 1985) and Texas State University (M.A. 1987). University College Dublin (Ph.D. 1991). Dr. Nafzger has entertained and educated young people in Texas colleges for 37 years. Nafzger is best known for his dark novels and experimental screenwriting. His best know scripts to date are Lenin’s Body, produced in Russia by A-Media and Sea and Sky produced in The Philippines in the Tagalog language. In 1986, Nafzger wrote the iconic feminist western novel, Gina of Quitaque. Contact: editor@prat.uk
