Government Working Group Discovers New Sport: Avoiding Definitions
LONDON — The official working group on Islamophobia has discovered a revolutionary sport: avoiding definitions while pretending to be productive. Meetings have included extensive PowerPoint presentations, flowcharts, and color-coded spreadsheets illustrating every conceivable scenario except actually defining the term.
Insiders say participants were trained in advanced avoidance techniques, such as the “Semicolon Pivot” and “Consultation Loop,” allowing the group to spend hours discussing methodology without ever producing a usable outcome. A staffer whispered, “We’re basically paid to confuse people politely.”
Analysts point out this method could be replicated across any policy area, from climate change to road signage, yielding endless reports that say much while meaning nothing.
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