Railway company advises against using non-existent services
Passengers Asked to Avoid Trains That Aren’t Running
In a masterclass of corporate communication, Eurostar has urged customers to postpone their journeys after already cancelling all services, essentially asking people not to do something they physically cannot do. The advisorywhich could be summarized as “please don’t attempt to board trains that don’t exist”represents peak efficiency in railway customer service.
Company Advises Against Impossible Actions
The travel notice encourages passengers to reconsider trips on services that have been entirely suspended, demonstrating Eurostar’s commitment to giving advice that ranges from unnecessary to completely irrelevant. “We’re asking customers to postpone travel on cancelled trains,” a spokesperson explained without apparent awareness of the contradiction. “It’s important they don’t try to use the trains we’re not operating.” The guidance has been compared to asking people not to fly on grounded aircraft or to avoid swimming in drained pools.
Passengers Struggle to Postpone What Doesn’t Exist
Stranded travellers at St Pancras International reported confusion about how to postpone journeys that had already been cancelled by the operator. “I’m not sure how to not-take a not-train,” one customer explained. “Do I just not-show-up extra hard?” Others questioned whether Eurostar’s advice constituted genuine customer service or simply a impressive demonstration of corporate absurdity. The company has not clarified whether passengers who successfully postpone their cancelled journeys will receive recognition for this achievement.
Railway Applies Preventative Customer Guidance
Transport analysts suggested Eurostar’s advisory represents a new frontier in passenger communications, where companies tell customers not to do things that are already impossible. “It’s very forward-thinking,” one expert noted. “Why wait for customers to attempt boarding non-existent services when you can pre-emptively discourage them?” Consumer advocates have praised the innovation while simultaneously questioning whether anyone at Eurostar actually read the announcement before publishing it to thousands of stranded holiday travellers.