New Orleans “Bad Moms” To Invade London, Britain Activates Emergency Cultural Protocols | Hip-hop dancing krewe brings American enthusiasm levels to city unprepared for synchronized maternal energy
Alexandra Palace Darts Fans Achieve New State of Consciousness, Scientists Baffled by “Fancy Dress Enlightenment” | World Championship attendees transcend normal human experience through combination of beer, costumes, and mathematical precision
Texas High Schoolers to Invade London, Britain Braces for Impact of American Marching Band Enthusiasm | Wichita Falls students prepare to demonstrate what “too much” looks like to half a billion people
Collectors Building Platform for Southeast Asian Women Artists in London Accidentally Create World’s Most Specific Cultural Niche | Couple returns from Singapore with 200 artworks and a plan to make London care about extremely particular art category
Peloton UK Riders Petition for ‘Suffering Acknowledgement’ Feature | App to include mandatory sympathy notifications during workouts
UK Dissertation Service Wins Award Nobody Knew Existed | ‘London Reviews’ organisation also previously unknown, sources confirm
Clinical Pharmacy Congress London Promises Exciting Discussions About Pills | Delegates prepare for riveting debates on tablet shapes
UK Entertainment Scandals Reach Annual Quota in Record Time | Industry celebrates ‘achieving full year’s shame by December’
